Well.
Here we are again.
Take a good look at this face:
This is the face of a Future International Diplomat.
THIS
FACE
well okay, not that face
Before I was ready to announce anything to anyone, my mother posted news of my Big Achievement on Facebook (thanks, Mom). Because of this, many of you may already know that I was awarded a Fulbright Grant for the 2016-2017 school year.
You: "What is a Fulbright gra--"
(I smack you violently upside the head.)
Me: "Why, you uncultured swine! The Fulbright grant is a prestigious program funded by the U.S. Department of Education, offering idealistic young folks the opportunity to do research or teach English in a foreign country in a gesture of good will and international understanding!"
You: "You didn't have to hit me to tell me tha--"
(I smack you once more. You do not dare challenge me again.)
I will be student teaching English in a to-be-determined school, in a to-be-determined city, somewhere in Mexico.
With about 23 days left until my departure, I have to admit that I am still not totally committed to this trip. I have been having a lot of anxiety about not feeling worthy of this award (even though I am possibly the perfect candidate) and am having trouble thinking of this as anything but an Opportunity for Loneliness and Mental Illness.
I was reading back through some of my Argentina blog entries and was encouraged to remember that I experienced the same emotions before my last trip, which turned out to be excellent:
"For the better part of three days I had been feeling sick to my stomach... but I decided to put one foot in front of the other, to walk through my fears. As the things I was (and am) scared of floated up in front of my eyes, I told them, 'You're not real. And if you are-- well, we'll figure that out later. But I'M DOING THIS.'"
(Read the rest of this years-old entry here.)
To end this first post, here is a short set of paintings I did describing the advice my counselor gave me:
To end this first post, here is a short set of paintings I did describing the advice my counselor gave me:
(Getting better at watercolor)
So, just like in Argentina, I'm planning on putting one foot in front of the other, walking through the anxiety and seeing where this goes.
(Hopefully it goes to Mexico!)
