Week One

**This blog is not representative of the opinions of the U.S. Department of State or COMEXUS.**

Hi.

Did you read that little sucker up there? Or did you skip over it because it looked too disclaimer-y? If you went the LAZY ROUTE, here it is again:

**This blog is not representative of the opinions of the U.S. Department of State or COMEXUS.**

Ha ha! What a humorous situation I find myself in! I am in a position of responsibility  and honor such that my words could theoretically be mistaken for those of the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT!!!!! Who'da thunk???

In this brief introductory paragraph, let me list a few reasons why some might consider me to be The Least Likely Candidate to Represent the USA as a Self-Respecting Sovereign Nation:

1. During my senior year of college, my roommate and I failed our room inspection.... ummm.... more than once. Some people (me) just REALLY don't like to do dishes, alright????

2. Once I turned in an essay eight months late. #BeatThat

3. Again, the song about the libertarian cats. Really gotta record that sucker.
3.5. Oooh, that just reminded me of my pièce de resistance, "The Fat Toilet Bible Song!" Fans of the Old Testament will LOVE that one. 

4. Multiple chins during selfies:

MAJORLY unacceptable for reps of the US of A

5. Cannot remember all the words to the Pledge of Allegiance. Dang, I should be SHOT for that one, amiright?

Anyway, notwithstanding the previous info, I'm here. The first week of actual teaching has just come to a close, and I know everyone out there is huddled in the darkness over a glowing computer screen, desperately jabbing their refresh button and muttering under their breath, "Come on.... come on.... POST already, darn you!!" Little do you know that your wife and/or husband is leaning in the doorway behind you, silhouetted in the light of the hallway, observing your obsessive actions and wondering how it came to this... you used to be so involved in your family's life. A montage of images runs through your loved one's head; you tossing around the ol' pigskin with the kids; your gleaming white smile as you throw back your head and laugh a hearty American laugh; a cookout in the backyard; a snowball fight. S/he thinks of better times. Happier times. "Are you coming to bed, hon?" S/he asks, pulling the cozy robe tighter around him/herself. S/he does not know WHY s/he asks, as s/he already knows the answer.

"In a couple minutes, babe! I just have this FEELING that Bethany's going to post really soon!!"

Wait no longer, you family-hater.

Last Week
The ETA's participated in a bizarre coming-of-age choosing ritual during which the fate of our entire lives was determined in a single moment, à la Harry Potter, Divergent, The Giver, The City of Ember, or even (insert other dystopian teenage novel here).

We arrived at the SEP building (belonging to the Secretaria de Education Pública) and, after an unusually long waiting period, we were ushered into a large, crowded room.

As each ETA introduced him or herself, our assigned teacher stood up to greet us. It was all very exciting. My tutor is named Doris, and she put me up in her home for several days while I looked for housing. After everyone was claimed, we were given bagged lunches to eat on the trip to our new cities. The trip from Ciudad de México to Toluca should have taken at most an hour and a half, but heavy rains and heavy traffic delayed us. It was close to three hours of driving, with a good bit of altitude sickness thrown in.

This Monday
I am on a rotating schedule that places me in three different schools in Toluca throughout the week. On Mondays and Wednesdays I am at the Escuela Normal Superior del Estado de México. 

Escuelas Normales are a special type of school designed to train future teachers (often English teachers). For this reason, my students at the Normal are more invested in learning English and often have higher comprehension of the language.

TUESDAY
On Tuesdays I walk twenty minutes into downtown Toluca to a federal high school, "Tierra y Libertad." There will be another post coming soon about this institution, so I will not go into too much detail now. I was told that my first day would be for "observation," so I did not plan any activities.... however, I was thrown under the bus and had to whip something out really quick. Fortunately, I had some family photos with me, so I pretended they were very interesting and managed to keep the attention of six classes that day.

WEDNESDAY
Back at the Normal. I made a really intense game for the students to help them learn the Present Continuous tense (which I had to look up the day before....). By "really intense" I mean there was glitter involved.

THURSDAY
On Thursdays I am placed at a primary school and will be working with kids from 3rd to 6th grade. Man, the 5th graders are gonna be a tough bunch... I tried to impress them by saying cool English things like "Arctic Monkeys" and "The Strokes" but they were just a total handful. Gonna have to bust out the paddle for them (attn: joke).


This is what my schedule is going to look like every week, at least until my normal routine is interrupted by a hospitalization for severe diarrhea. Whoops, did I say that out loud...? Too bad I put that disclaimer at the beginning, or I could fob it off on the U.S. Government. "Hey everybody!! The State Department is having diarrhea because it ignored travel warnings and ate street food! Haha! And it took a taxi off the street, like it wasn't supposed to, and its cell phone and iPod got stolen!! Ha! Oh my gosh, the State Department sure is DUMB!!!!!"

But no, I must take responsibility. I must bear the heavy weight of the disclaimer.

Until next time.